Self Portrait 2 - Happiness

Watercolor pencil on paper.
I had fun doing this self portrait. First, I shot a couple photos with my Nikon P6000 so I would have something to go by. I have been experimenting with different types of watercolor paint. Solids, liquid concentrates, and pencils all have their place. On this image, I decided to do the whole thing in pencils, then spray and paint on water for an effect. As usual, I should have left well enough alone! The colors and textures changed too much in this case. For instance, Erin, I really was blonde this time before the water went on. In spite of all that, I kind of like the playfulness of this image, and I learned something about the technique.

A word about the happiness part: I've been giving much thought to contentment and what it takes to be happy. Like trust, if you approach happiness as if it were the null hypothesis and try to prove it's there, by convention, you never will. Perhaps instead it should be approached from a foundation of faith -- I believe in happiness, and all I have to do is trust and be. Let's give that a try!

Welcome to Visceral Paintings

This blog was inspired by a simple self-portrait and the dialogue it generated. Although I created it hastily and without over thinking, the picture's interpretation baffled me. I started working with a clean sheet of paper, a box of paints and pastels, and a completely clear mind. It had been literally years since I had taken the time to capture an image from my mind's eye. Colors were chosen by what moved me in each moment. Marks were made on the paper based on instinct. The colors and lines flowed from one to the next until the end product, with its despair, resignation, disturbing hues and ominous flood, appeared upon the page. The process resulted in something I didn't quite understand. My own haunting eyes finally forced me to turn to friends for help deciphering it.

One wise friend noted that I appeared to accept with sadness, but not fear, the inevitable fate of the water rising to engulf me. Another dear soul, who is also a yoga instructor, suggested the darkness was around me, but I seemed to be buoyed up by some mystical force during a stormy period. Blue being the color of the 5th chakra and representing the throat area, the water may indicate a desire to speak my authentic truth. Perhaps through honesty and authenticity, I can put the darkness behind me.

People have described me as pragmatic and logical, and most of the time I would agree with that assessment; however, there are times that emotions and feelings trapped way beneath the surface simply insist on being acknowledged. Sometimes they are confusing and seem to make no sense through the filter of rational thought. What I have come to realize is that there is power in allowing the mind to create an image without the unnecessary intervention of consciousness. There is certainly value in analyzing, editing, and reflecting on our thoughts, but there is also wisdom in allowing the soul to express itself freely, and then listening to what it has to say. The art posted here and my thoughts on each piece reflect the desire to tap into this torrential stream of emotion and give it a voice as well as an image. I hope you enjoy the posts, and I welcome your comments.