Purr-a-Vida!

Today’s post is my beautiful Purr-a-Vida. She is my constant companion, the sponge for my affections. A rescue cat, her person was a veteran with limited means who none-the-less took meticulous care of his three cats. He had a short battle with cancer and died in the hospital where I sometimes worked. Although I didn’t know him, I felt a connection by virtue of our being in the same building I suppose. Vida came to me at the age of 8 years, happy to finally be acknowledged as the diva she is. A big, shiny cat with not a single neurotic tendency, she has two basic modes – ferocious play and sublime sleep. The rest of her day is split between purring on my lap and watching the ducks out the window. After a long silence at the beginning, it finally occurred to her one day she should talk back to me when I blabber to her, which is fairly constant since we live alone and she is generally a good listener. She has taken to conversing with me in little barking and trilling sounds, like most of the cats who have graced me with their presence in the past. Vida may not be neurotic, but perhaps I’m rubbing off on her a little! The emotion here is pure and simple…companionship, love, and devotion.

Hopeful Resignation

Today's piece was created in pastels and water color on paper. The emotions I experienced during the process were warmth, friendship, gratitude, and unrequited love. The expression captured is one of acceptance and contentment. Although it looks like it should be a portrait, and despite the fact that the image was roughly based on a specific person, this art should not be mistaken as portraiture. The man who inspired the picture is quite successful and a great artist, one who has realized through experience that money takes a backseat to passion and creativity. He is energetic and driven. Intense melancholy is not the first thing you notice about him in real life, but in fact, there is definitely a hint of sadness there most people would never see. I suppose the amplification of the sadness was in part another reflection of my own state of mind. I guess we'll have to label these "unportraits" until I come up with something better.

Welcome to Visceral Paintings

This blog was inspired by a simple self-portrait and the dialogue it generated. Although I created it hastily and without over thinking, the picture's interpretation baffled me. I started working with a clean sheet of paper, a box of paints and pastels, and a completely clear mind. It had been literally years since I had taken the time to capture an image from my mind's eye. Colors were chosen by what moved me in each moment. Marks were made on the paper based on instinct. The colors and lines flowed from one to the next until the end product, with its despair, resignation, disturbing hues and ominous flood, appeared upon the page. The process resulted in something I didn't quite understand. My own haunting eyes finally forced me to turn to friends for help deciphering it.

One wise friend noted that I appeared to accept with sadness, but not fear, the inevitable fate of the water rising to engulf me. Another dear soul, who is also a yoga instructor, suggested the darkness was around me, but I seemed to be buoyed up by some mystical force during a stormy period. Blue being the color of the 5th chakra and representing the throat area, the water may indicate a desire to speak my authentic truth. Perhaps through honesty and authenticity, I can put the darkness behind me.

People have described me as pragmatic and logical, and most of the time I would agree with that assessment; however, there are times that emotions and feelings trapped way beneath the surface simply insist on being acknowledged. Sometimes they are confusing and seem to make no sense through the filter of rational thought. What I have come to realize is that there is power in allowing the mind to create an image without the unnecessary intervention of consciousness. There is certainly value in analyzing, editing, and reflecting on our thoughts, but there is also wisdom in allowing the soul to express itself freely, and then listening to what it has to say. The art posted here and my thoughts on each piece reflect the desire to tap into this torrential stream of emotion and give it a voice as well as an image. I hope you enjoy the posts, and I welcome your comments.